So I peaced out on modern luxuries (cable, internet, bathing (just kidding)) for the past couple weeks and let me tell you I didn't miss shit. I have been moving and then I started discovering my new neighborhood on my kick ass bike. It is funny when you move into a new place and you get all rustic and you are like "Oh. No electricity for a week, Sure, No Problem." Well, the whole time I was zoning out and bike riding I was thinking to myself "You know what? The internet is totally lame. I don't need that shit. All I do is read gossip blogs anyways and I could just go out and make friends with real life Catty Bitches if I really wanted to. Yeah, and Myspace can suck it deep cause that shit isn't fun anymore." I was just over the whole thing and somehow convinced myself that the world was united against me. I noticed people riding bikes next to me and they would wink at me as if to say "Yeah, your right, the internet is totally last year."
Then the other day I discovered a super phatty wireless network (thanks greghomeXXX) that totally gets low reception if I stand on my bed near the window. Bam!! I was back in the thick of internet action. In a massive couple hour session I got caught up on www.dlisted.com, listened to our friends Mellowdrone's new song (www.myspace.com/mellowdrone), saw pictures of Britney Spears hairless ChoCha, sent a myspace message to Danny Bonaduce and found this on youtube...
Damn! I love the internet sometimes! I realized that the internet is like a warped version of my brain, only better organized.
I discovered something hysterical as I have been obsessively watching Counting Crows videos on youtube. I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but music videos used to be posted by regular people who had taped that shit off of TV or something. They would often be a bit grainy and low res. Now the Major Labels (Universal in the case of the Counting Crows) have pulled those videos off and posted the videos for their artists themselves. If you look at the member information on these videos it says Universal Music Group youtube member for one year! Warner Brothers (The Flaming Lips Videos) has been a member for eleven months! Is that funny to anyone else? I see videos posted by twelve year old hicks who have been on youtube for like three years and somehow a major record label just got the idea a year ago to maybe go ahead and post the videos, that they paid for, to promote records, that they also paid for. I just picture a bunch of fourty something a*#holes sitting in an office trying to figure out how to get their crappy new record played on MTV (which hasn't played a video since The Hils hit 24 hour rotation) when some new young intern says "you could always post it on youtube" and they all go "Is that one of those new website things? I have been hearing a lot about this internet thing recently. I think that it is what those kids are using to steal our records. Maybe we should look into this." Seriously these dudes are dinosaurs. But they made this video happen so I can't totally hate. By the way I had to go to some other private posting of this video because you can't re-post videos that are posted by UNIVERSALMUSICGROUP... fuck!!
I miss the day and age when Adam Duritz was considered a great front man. He is pure beauty.....which brings me to Jennifer Aniston.
So I also got way busy on IMDB the other day and let me tell you I WENT DEEP ON THAT SHIT. Am i the only one who gets crazy lost in the zone of IMDB and then realizes he is sifting through the acting resume of Jaleel White (Stefan Urkel) and snaps back to reality? Well I was looking for current pictures of Candace Cameron (Full House) because I heard she was all super christian like her whack job brother and I clicked on a bunch of profiles and the TGIF memories just started flooding back. I instantly snapped back to hanging alone on a Friday night with all these shows when I saw this glory photo............
Does anyone remember this made for TV piece of brilliance called "Camp Cucamonga"? It was an ill conceived marketing scheme to get all the TGIF actors in one piece of crap movie. Look there's Urkel, there's DJ Tanner, there's the guy from Head of the Class, and theres JENNIFER ANNISTON!! What? Yeah that's her in all her glory. You know she is thinking "I am so much better than these losers and I will be so much more famous!"
I love finding this picture and I am back to loving the internet, sometimes. I am gonna go ride my bike for awhile and have Camp Cucamonga scenes play in my head while I process all the beauty that technology has served me with this morning.
New tunes are right around the corner,