Everyone I know is gonna be Famous........... Ice Coffee is my new Life Partner....... Rhino's on TV are Big, Sexy and Lethal

I had the best thing happen to me the other night. I almost never wake up in the middle of the night because waking up is stupid and I try and only do it once a day. Well, last night I woke up at two in the morning and I was mad thirsty. I needed water because I had sodium mouth like a skank and simply could not handle the dehydration in my Sahara throat. I went and got some water and then could not sleep so I turned on MTV. Luckily MTV was showing videos and not Super Sweet Sixteen. That show is a brutal case study in the life and times of spoiled brats and it makes me want to fling dookie turds at rotten little kids. Either way, a super hella fly jam came on the TV and it was Lil Mama "Lip Gloss." This song is so red hot and it reminds me of when Punky Brewster used to rule the world and it was OK for a young man (maybe named Brian) to have a Lisa Frank trapper keeper with bright neon green Nike dunks.

So as I am watching the video, about 3 minutes into the thing, I see a woman (in the video playing the role of the classroom teacher) and I am like "I KNOW that woman!" It is crazy, that is our manager's super fly wife Malissa Hunter. She is in the most blowing up video of the moment and we could not be prouder. She is so nice to us and comes out to a ton of our shows and tells us we are cool and even allowed us to go to her wedding (despite the fact that we looked like lame douche bags with mismatched suits.) So congrats to Malissa, she is gonna be the R&B/Hip Hop Queen of 2008 and we will still be guys with Lisa Frank binders.



I officially have a new summer addiction. It is Iced Coffee from Starbucks. It makes my brain work incredibly fast. I no longer drool on myself and I am a better person for finding this new obsession. Don't make fun of me if you see me walking around with this shit super sized. I REALLY REALLY like it.........


After I watched the Lil Mama video, I slowly retired back to dream land with a nature channel special all about Rhino's in Africa. They are really such majestic beings. They are fat, but somehow sleek and mysterious. I would like to drink Iced Coffee out of their tusks......... Is that illegal?

We are gonna destroy the month of July by playing eight million shows in 34 days. This tour is hot so come and see us, and don't give us some excuse about Warped Tour being in town or something because Warped Tour is fucking stupid and Bro Rock is going down hard in 2008. Lisa Frank forever!!!!
-brian